Dreams/Memoirs of an Incubi

1:31pm: lyrics that haunt my soul

Covenant - "Bullet"

...
kisses on the dancefloor in my past
I need some comfort just like you
beating like a bass drum time goes by
I want the last dance just like you

drowning in the flood of morning light
I'm only human just like you
do you hear the city waking up
I will survive and so will you

...

(dedicated to Lestat and Vincent)

2:05pm: thoughtfulness
Rays of sunlight have evaded my sight for more years than humanly possible. My soul has slowly disintegrated into nothing more than a pile of blackened ashes, waiting for the cold winter wind to erase the last trace of my existance into oblivion.

8:09pm: An October Night

Two human-like forms, alone in the chilled darkness of a midnight colored room. My bed was covered over with the finest black velvet, draped about the 4 posts and spread out like an endless ocean of ink across the plush mattress. Two forms, struggling against each other within that sweet smelling room of dark vanilla, lost to the world outside. Vincent, his long white blonde hair hung wild and loose pushed back at my arms and I desperately tried to grasp his in return. Animalistic gasps of playful pleasure and the faint glitter of fangs in the darkness, hidden beneath my long black locks, a sharp contrast to the pale whiteness of my own skin. I saw my dimly glowing hands caress Vincent’s cheek then succeeded to bind both his arms with one of my own, as the other continued to tease that fragile skin along his delicate neck. I remember his low, dark laughter as my nails gently played against his sun kissed skin as he struggled against me once more. Vincent broke free from my gasp and I clenched my fists within the fabric of his parchment colored vest, pulling him to me once more. I fought with the long line of silver buttons as he watched, his face lowered and an amused smirk across his lips. I was panting as I thrust the heavy fabric aside, revealing the thin, white material of his poets shirt. Vintage, I thought with a wicked grin and wound one of the strings ‘round my slender and equally pale finger. I ran my palms over his arms, feeling him grabbing at my waist, trying in vain to pull me back onto the bed. I wanted to soak him up entirely with my hands, become one with him, to be that delicious smell, that warmth that seemed to always flow from him as if he were a gentler version of the sun itself. I was happy, more than satisfied to just touch him constantly, to run my hands over that lovely shirt that thinly separated my palms from his chest, his arms. There wasn’t enough time in the world for such indulgences it seemed as the nature of my beast, the incubi that constantly waged war with my humanity, surfaced like a tidal wave, engulfing me entirely with an animalistic drive for pleasure. A soft whine emanated deep from within my throat as I gave in, pushing Vincent roughly back upon my bed, claiming my dominance over him. It was all a game though. We both knew who was really in control; who was always in control. I devoured his neck with my lips, savagely taking in a bit of his flesh with my teeth. My warm wet tongue traced small circles where I had marked him and I heard a satisfied groan growing within Vincent’s throat that soon turned into a feral growl. With swift lightening like movement, his hands grasped my arms with a vice like grip and drew me down to a sitting position over him. I couldn’t help but begin to devour Vincent again with my hands, running my palms over every inch of that skin, his torso, his arms, his neck, his cheek… Before I could protest, the toy that was his shirt was tossed aside and we were left alone in the darkness…

copyright MikhailBuer 2006

7:10pm: Night and Day

The gentle invisible hands of the fall wind playfully tossed about the few leaves that were left scattering about the open expanse of land. Cold, white marble headstones dotted the desolate and deserted graveyard; some of them so old that the engravings had all but faded from existence and others were toppled over so that the earth may once again reclaim that which was taken. Withering trees broke up the clear empty sky, dark in it’s evening shade of midnight blue, reminiscing of my own soulful blue eyes.

I shivered in the cool breeze, fully aware of how much I missed this time of year. This was why I chose to go on, why I allowed myself the pleasure of existing and not ending it all, even if I did know how to do such a thing. Eternal existence without death’s hand absently caressing you with age, without humanity’s plagues and diseases, although sounding good was at times nothing more than pure, dark torture.

For an endless eternity I thought that I suffered alone in this world. I was only fooling myself, blind to the reality of what was really out there. I had hidden in the darkness, peering effortlessly into the dark corners of night, living in a state of a never ending ebony void, searching for what I would’ve considered more like me. I failed to realize what was hiding in the recesses of light and daylight and without sight passed through what I could’ve called life without so much as a blink of an eye.

What was hiding in the warm streams of sunlight you ask? What was there, basking in the glory of day that I had failed to acknowledge? I shall tell you what it was, or more correctly WHO it was. A man, the complete opposite of myself in every aspect.

Where I was cold and emotionless, he was warm and compassionate. Where I showed only remorse for my existence, he showed only hope and faith. Where I became solely obsessed with dark and inhuman thirsts and desires, he gathered me in the warmth of his fragile arms and held me tightly in total disregard of my demonic destiny.

copyright MikhailBuer 2006